Back in the Convertible

I have written a new post many times throughout the month of May.  But I never seemed to be able to sit down and actually put my thoughts on “paper.”   Usually sometime in May I realize that  I’m reacting to the fact that it is the anniversary of my diagnosis and plans for treatment.  The good part is that it gets less and less each year.  The disappointing part is that it takes me so long to recognize it.  So there is a sense of accomplishment that I’ve made it through the mental and emotional toll of  February, March, April, and May.  I don’t often think of other survivors going through this also and I fear that I have been insensitive to the feelings of others.  But we all have to work this out on our own terms.

God seems to use the magic and the hope of spring to bring me through this rough patch.  And this year there has been magic in our garden.  A bluebird has been a regular visitor to our suet feeder.  A sparrow brought 2 fledglings to the same feeder and fed them suet.  3 beautiful cardinal pairs (as near as we can tell) have rewarded us for faithfully putting out their favorite seed mix.  And my cousin Kandy sent our shared hummingbirds back from Arizona.  (It could happen.)  The salad table that Jerry built and I planted has produced a bountiful crop of lettuces, spinach, and radishes.  Hopefully the onions and peas will also mature and grace our table.

Family has been such a bright spot.  Sara and Lonnie brought the boys up from Tennessee for a visit in May.  It’s wonderful to have the laughter of children in the house.  Coyle, our almost 4 year old grandson, recently announced that he is going to be a garbageman when he grows up.  I’ll have to ask the others what they want to be.  For years we have had a weekly tradition.  Any of the family that is available gathers at our house for Sunday supper.  It’s been especially meaningful to have Stephani, Ken, and Ken’s son Seth join us this year.  We take turns, starting with the youngest, choosing the menu.  We’re on our third round this year.  In this round Isabel chose Shepherd’s Pie and last week Kendall chose Hot Wings from KFC.  This makes for a varied menu and everyone gets their choice every 9th Sunday.  If anyone watches Blue Bloods on TV, it is much like their weekly family dinners.  Except we don’t sit around discussing police issues and solving crimes.

We’ve made many trips to Ohio during this time period.  My sister Doreen has been through varied challenges with her MS and we’ve spent time at St. Luke’s Hospital and Swanton Valley Skilled Care Center with her and her husband Bob.  It’s a great excuse to get out the convertible and let the wind blow through our hair and our minds.  It’s amazing to have a (younger) sister who has become the top person on your most admired list.

Another blessing during this time is the privilege of volunteering at Matthew 25.  It’s 10 hours that I really look forward to each week, no matter the weather or mood.  It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you realize the needs of other people.

I’m looking forward to June and its promise.  I’m looking forward to more family dinners.  I’m looking forward to seeing old friends and making some new ones.  I’m looking forward to sharing a log cabin in Tennessee with the whole family in July.  I’m looking forward to what the garden offers this summer.  I’m looking forward to more convertible rides with Jerry.  And I’m looking forward to spending some weeks of those cold, depressing months in a warmer climate next year!

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