Member Care

Happy Holidays!

cramerworld — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 05:02:36 +0000

Would it offend you? if we said…

Happy Holidays!

It seems to be the most appropriate greeting as Thanksgiving was so meaningful this year… which has spilled over into such a worshipful Christmas season…which is giving us much hope for the New Year…. blessings flowing from season to season.

No, our year wasn’t perfect. Members of our family have faced challenges. There have been losses. But we would have to say that the blessings outnumbered the difficult times. We are both enjoying good health and there have been few medical appointments this year. We spent a wonderful week with all 13 of us in a mountain cabin in the Smokies. There were trips to Michigan and Ohio to see extended family. And both of us walked in the Fort4Fitness marathon and across the Mackinac Bridge on Labor Day.

In July we put Stephani and Ken on a plane to Changsha, China and then moved Ken’s son, Seth to Wright State University where he is a freshman. Both moves were bittersweet because even though we are excited for this next phase of their lives, it means that we don’t see them every week. From all reports they are enjoying ministry and/or studies. Ken’s oldest son Ben has moved his family to Texas.

Sean continues to work at 3Rivers FCU and Cassie works for a real estate agent. Kendall and Isabel continue to bring much joy as they have both turned out to be good students and are on the way to becoming excellent pianists (says NaNa)…thanks in part to Karin’s sister Doreen who gave them her piano and to Stephani who started them out with lessons. Sean, Cassie and the girls come every Sunday evening for “Sunday-supper-on-the- porch” although the weather has now forced us into the dining room.

Sara and Lonnie still live in Nashville, TN with our grandsons Coyle and Miles (who happen to be their sons). Sara is a social worker and Lonnie is a songwriter/musician. Their house is full of cars, trucks and energy and it is one of our favorite places to visit. We’re grateful for Skype so that we can talk to them AND watch the boys grow. They attend pre-school where they are both outstanding students (says PaPa) and Coyle will start Kindergarten this fall.

Karin enjoys using her bureaucratic skills at Matthew 25 Health and Dental Clinic. It has been fun to watch Jerry as he has found unique ways and projects to minister to others. We enjoy the congregation and helping out at Northpoint Community Church. No problem filling up our time.

So now we wait and anticipate. The Grands are waiting for Christmas. We are waiting for the Grands to arrive so we can celebrate Jesus’ birth together. And we are looking forward to 2012 and whatever God has for us.

Merry Christmas from the Cramers

How Did It Get to be October already?

cramerworld — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 01:07:49 +0000

Today is Sunday, October 9. It is as close to a perfect day as is possible. If it were a winter day, the snow would be deep, the trees glistening with ice diamonds, and the air muffled and quiet. If it were a spring day, the sky would be blue, the trees would be blossoming and the air would have the promise of more to come. If it were a summer day, the sun would be blinding, the flowers would be in full bloom and thoughts would turn to hammocks, lakes, and walking barefoot in the grass. But this is an autumn day…it must be held close to the heart because there is just a hint of change in the air. The only way to really appreciate a day like this is to be outside and fully experience it or to be inside and write about it. There will be no Sunday afternoon nap today.

In July when our family spent time together in the Smokies, it seemed to set us on a speeding vehicle which was going too fast to allow us to jump off or even figure out a way to slow down. We went from vacation to absorbing part of Stephani and Ken’s household into our attic, cupboards and closets to the emotional sending them off to ministry in China to welcoming Ken’s son Seth to stay with us for a month to taking him to his first year of college. So September became a recovery month…trying to get home and garden under control while dealing with 2 family funerals, change of medication which made me sick for a month and the death of one of our cats. And there were wonderful high points including a visit with Michigan family members, a college reunion, the visit of our friend, Paul, a week in Nashville taking care of grandsons, participating in the Labor Day 5-mile walk over the Mackinaw Bridge and then the Fort4Fitness 4-mile walk here in Fort Wayne, a few weeks later. And do you know what was quite wonderful about these months? There were few doctor’s appointments. There was very little thought about cancer and treatment. We could just live life. Life without that cloud of concern in the back of our minds. THAT is truly a gift from God.

And how does a perfect day end? Today it ended with a NaNa and 2 ~~little~~ big girls sitting on the front porch swing, watching a beautiful sunset, playing silly games until it was too dark to see each other or anything else. The 9-year-old said “NaNa, could we just share thoughts?” Sweet.

Driving through the Mountains

cramerworld — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 02:53:56 +0000

If June was meandering, July has been the challenge of mountainous hairpin curves, switch backs, and Ups and Downs. Both physically and emotionally.

One of the Ups was my appointment at the University of Michigan. Again, the predominant color was CLEAR. CT scan: clear. X-rays: clear. Blood work: clear. Dr. C is now stretching out my check-ups from 4 month intervals to 6 months. And now I only have to have a CT scan once every year. She said that if the Liposarcoma is going to reappear in the same place, it usually does that within 3 years and I’m now past that point in time. My tumor contained cells that were well def and dediff, which means that some of them were slow and steady growing and some of them were wild and aggressive. So if it does reappear, it probably will be somewhere else in my body. Or not!

A difficult point in this journey came when I found out that my friend Violet lost her battle with Liposarcoma. She had been in our congregation at Avalon and again at Grabill and was a nurse who had blessed me by sharing her experience treating another woman whose condition was close to mine and was still living after 6 years. At that point I was very weak and had never heard of anyone surviving that long. So Violet had been a real encouragement to me. Then Violet was diagnosed with Liposarcoma about a year after I was. We had long phone conversations, exchanging information and words of encouragement. Sometimes I needed the encouragement and sometimes she did. We shared how her husband Frank and my Jerry were amazing caregivers. She had her first grandchild and when the doctors could no longer offer her any hope, we talked about what could be done to ensure that Gabriella (now 18 months old) would remember her. Her treatment needs ultimately took her to MD Anderson Sarcoma Clinic in Houston, TX and she spent months there enduring a difficult chemo regime. Violet’s faith never seemed to waiver and she fought a good fight. Her funeral was Thursday.

Our family physically drove mountain roads in July. Jerry found a cabin in the Smokey mountains, above Gatlinburg, which would accommodate our family of 13, aged 18 months to 71 years old. He found it through the web site VRBO (Vacation Rental By Owner). It had 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a kitchen, living/dining room and a family room on 3 floors. It also came with a hot tub, pool table, access to a private resort swimming pool, a driveway that sloped down the mountain…and on our last day, a large black bear.

Everyone was on their own to choose their activities. Most everyone did some hiking and my favorite quote of the week came from one the of girls–”I really like to hike except for all that walking!” We fixed most of the meals in that small little kitchen–15 meals if I counted correctly. We all went into Pigeon Forge for dinner to celebrate our 47th anniversary with southern comfort food. One day we took a picnic when we explored Cade’s Cove and the last night we brought in pizza. The week wasn’t without its challenges. There were overly tired children (and NaNa). And by the time we left, there were fingerprints imbedded in my arm rest and a crook in my neck from driving those difficult mountain roads. But it’s good for parents to see their children and grandchildren living together, playing together, and just getting along.

Our family has been so fortunate to have aunts and uncles who have enjoyed a long life. July marked the loss of Uncle Dale, whom everyone loved. He had probably never been out of Fulton Co., Ohio when he joined the army in 1941. After basic training, he went to North Africa, and then to Europe where he fought in Italy, France, Belgium, and Germany, winning a purple heart. He definitely was part of The Greatest Generation.

One of the most emotionally draining events was when our daughter Stephani and her husband Ken flew to Colorado and then on to China. They are now in Beijing where Ken is undergoing training and Stephani is doing office work during this month. They will then travel to Changsha where they will live and teach this year. So hard to see them leave. So happy to see their excitement. Ken’s son Seth is staying with us this month. So after many years, we will now again be moving a family member to their first year of college. He will attend Wright State in Dayton, OH.

So many challenges. So many blessings. Can’t wait to see what next month brings.

Meanderings

cramerworld — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 16:14:41 +0000

When I was in high school, a friend wrote a column for our school newspaper called “Mediocre Meanderings”. It clearly was not mediocre or I wouldn’t have remembered it for 50 years. The dictionary defines meandering as following a winding or aimless path. Our path is not aimless but I’m happy to report that it is winding; a relaxing, almost carefree stroll through our world. When I look back through the last 3 years, I see the journey as very focused, driven, and headed straight to the destination (whatever the current destination was). My days were filled with doctor’s appointments, tests, treatments, occasional worries, a crisis or two, and plans for more doctor’s appointments, more tests, and more treatments. We had to fit family, friends and good times in wherever we could. There was no time for meandering.

June has been a wonderful time of renewal with my hands in the dirt, my face in the sun and my feet walking the Aboite Trails. There is time for meandering through pleasant places. “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:6. It doesn’t mean that we lose touch with reality. Our reality still includes friends and family who are struggling with physical issues as well as others who are suffering loss. My next check-up at U of M is the first Monday of August and I need to schedule a CT scan. I recently read “The woven tapestry of life has threads both bitter and so terribly sweet” and we have found this to be true.

Thinking of some friends today…
Some people come into
our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding
with the passing whisper of their wisdom.

Some people make the sky more
beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for a while,
leave footprints in our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same. –Author unknown (but appreciated)

Back in the Convertible

cramerworld — Fri, 27 May 2011 04:47:31 +0000

I have written a new post many times throughout the month of May. But I never seemed to be able to sit down and actually put my thoughts on “paper.” Usually sometime in May I realize that I’m reacting to the fact that it is the anniversary of my diagnosis and plans for treatment. The good part is that it gets less and less each year. The disappointing part is that it takes me so long to recognize it. So there is a sense of accomplishment that I’ve made it through the mental and emotional toll of February, March, April, and May. I don’t often think of other survivors going through this also and I fear that I have been insensitive to the feelings of others. But we all have to work this out on our own terms.

God seems to use the magic and the hope of spring to bring me through this rough patch. And this year there has been magic in our garden. A bluebird has been a regular visitor to our suet feeder. A sparrow brought 2 fledglings to the same feeder and fed them suet. 3 beautiful cardinal pairs (as near as we can tell) have rewarded us for faithfully putting out their favorite seed mix. And my cousin Kandy sent our shared hummingbirds back from Arizona. (It could happen.) The salad table that Jerry built and I planted has produced a bountiful crop of lettuces, spinach, and radishes. Hopefully the onions and peas will also mature and grace our table.

Family has been such a bright spot. Sara and Lonnie brought the boys up from Tennessee for a visit in May. It’s wonderful to have the laughter of children in the house. Coyle, our almost 4 year old grandson, recently announced that he is going to be a garbageman when he grows up. I’ll have to ask the others what they want to be. For years we have had a weekly tradition. Any of the family that is available gathers at our house for Sunday supper. It’s been especially meaningful to have Stephani, Ken, and Ken’s son Seth join us this year. We take turns, starting with the youngest, choosing the menu. We’re on our third round this year. In this round Isabel chose Shepherd’s Pie and last week Kendall chose Hot Wings from KFC. This makes for a varied menu and everyone gets their choice every 9th Sunday. If anyone watches Blue Bloods on TV, it is much like their weekly family dinners. Except we don’t sit around discussing police issues and solving crimes.

We’ve made many trips to Ohio during this time period. My sister Doreen has been through varied challenges with her MS and we’ve spent time at St. Luke’s Hospital and Swanton Valley Skilled Care Center with her and her husband Bob. It’s a great excuse to get out the convertible and let the wind blow through our hair and our minds. It’s amazing to have a (younger) sister who has become the top person on your most admired list.

Another blessing during this time is the privilege of volunteering at Matthew 25. It’s 10 hours that I really look forward to each week, no matter the weather or mood. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you realize the needs of other people.

I’m looking forward to June and its promise. I’m looking forward to more family dinners. I’m looking forward to seeing old friends and making some new ones. I’m looking forward to sharing a log cabin in Tennessee with the whole family in July. I’m looking forward to what the garden offers this summer. I’m looking forward to more convertible rides with Jerry. And I’m looking forward to spending some weeks of those cold, depressing months in a warmer climate next year!

Navigating Major Milestones

cramerworld — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 20:22:54 +0000

February appears to have become the month that I have to deal with Survivor’s guilt. It has become an anniversary month because it was when I first became aware of changes in my abdoman and began this most unwelcome journey. And it was the month when my brother Jim and our friend Don passed on last year. Those events seem to gather up all my sad feelings about them and other friends and make me ask “Why did I survive when others died?” ”Why didn’t I do more?” ”What if I had done “such and such”–would that have helped?” Fortunately the strong winds of March and the promised sunshine of April have swept all these thoughts into the background where they will probably lurk until next February. Choosing to dwell on these thoughts would keep me from feeling the graditude for what I have been given… more time and more health. No matter how short or how long.

March flew by almost as fast as February. I think I’m seeing a trend here. They do say that times goes faster as you age. And it’s true that it flies when you’re having fun. But there were some days in Febrary and March that weren’t fun and it still flew by. But who minds that time is in a hurry when it is headed toward spring. There are some buds on the trees and my daffodils are almost ready to pop. I’ve known for years that the most beautiful time in Fort Wayne is the last 2 weeks of April. So I need to hang on just a little longer.

Last Monday was a major milestone. It was time to return to the University of Michigan to collect good news from Dr. C. I did lose one of my security blankets. This was the first check-up that didn’t include a CT scan. And it was also time to say good bye to a good friend–my port. Even though I hated it at first and had trouble accepting it, I now appreciate how it saved by veins from the poison that is chemo. It was also a way to get my blood tests done comfortably. Removal of the port was a fairly simple procedure. I opened my blouse and laid on a hospital bed. The nurse partially covered my face with towel and gave me a numbing shot. The Chinese doctor was cheerful and a bit chatty. (I love people who love their jobs.) At one point he asked me how I was doing and when I replied that I was doing good, he said “I’m doing good, too!” He said he has been removing ports for 10 years and probably does 2 to 4 each day. (I also love people who are experienced at what they do.) Dr. C was as beautiful as ever. She explained that Liposarcomas usually return to the same area if they recurr within a few years. Later they may turn up in the lungs or the brain. X-rays showed that my lungs are clear. Any questions that Jerry may have about my brain function will have to wait. I do have a site which might shed some light on this subject. http://bit.ly/dH8AHw is a site which proposes to explain impairments in attention and memory which constitute significant problems for cancer patients and surviviors. Incidence rates range from 17 to 75% of cancer patients and survivors. I’m guessing that I’m in that 75%.

Driving through Time

cramerworld — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 19:09:27 +0000

We had a very nice January…and then I turned around and it was March! February is the shortest month of the year so I expect it to go fast. But to disappear with so little accomplished?

Steven Cloud wrote a very interesting little essay about a year of time. ” As we look forward to 2011 we see a block of time. We see 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds. Each second is a gift. We have done nothing to deserve it, earn it or purchase it. Like the air we breathe, time comes to us as a part of life. The gift of time is not ours alone. It is given equally to each person. Rich and poor, educated and ignorant, strong or weak, healthy or sick–every man, woman and child has the same twenty-four hours every day.” He goes on to remind us that we can not stop time, slow it down, adjust it, or bring it back as it marches on. “Once it is gone, it is gone. Yesterday is lost forever. If yesterday is lost, tomorrow is uncertain. We may look ahead at a full year’s block of time, but we really have no guarantee that we will experience any of it.” Looking back at my lost February, I agree that we can waste it, or spend it on ourselves. I could look back and worry over it or mourn its loss. OR I could look back and celebrate the good things that happened, despite my lack of planning and vow to be a good steward of the remaining months of 2011 and invest in them.

Driving Between Phases

cramerworld — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 12:35:59 +0000

We’re in between the third and the fourth phases of Christmas. First phase is preparation. Second phase is the actual celebration. Third phase is reflection and fourth is recovery. I tend to linger in the reflection phase, when I should be diving headlong into getting the house back to normal.

It’s 6:00 a.m. and I’ve been awake since 4:30, waiting for sleep to intervene. In my prior life (before cancer) sleeplessness meant that something was worrying me or I had too much to accomplish or too much caffeine. Now, sleeplessness is a recurring part of my life. Sometimes it comes from a cough. (I’m not a doctor but I think there is a connection between coughing and the loss of a duodenum.) Sometimes it comes from a surprise nap in the evening. I often wonder if it sometimes just comes along with age. It always results in random thoughts. And then comes the challenge to arrange those thoughts into some kind of sense.

Looking back at Christmas, I realize that every year seems to have a theme in our family. Most would not recognize it… but if you look for it, it’s there. There is always the theme of family. It is usually the only time of year when we (the original 5 plus the additions) can spend some time all together. Somethings that is counted in days. This year it was hours as people came and went to other gatherings. Several years ago when we were rich (aka as “both employed”) the Christmas theme was “taking the family to Hawaii”. This year it is “taking the family to Tennessee” where we hope to spend some time together before Stephani and Ken leave for China. Like so many other families we are so spread out that we have to intentionally work to spend time together.

Another theme was a conscious resolve to encourage this year. We looked for ways to use the gifting process to become encouragers. From the 12-year-old girl whose name we picked off the Angel Tree at church to the Salvation Army bell-ringer, we hoped that the gifts had purpose. Sometimes it was a note we included with the gift. Sometimes we just tried to do the unexpected.

And we also received encouragement. A dinner invitation. A neighbor’s gift of a pie (minus one slice for testing:-) ). The smile of an aunt. Our families’ willingness to spend time together. Those lovely Christmas letters that I love. It all works together to make me look forward to next year and to the next theme. I have an idea….

2010 in review

cramerworld — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 11:21:15 +0000

WordPress encouraged me to include these stats. No, I don’t necessarily believe them but I think it is a way for them to encourage me to keep up the blog. So…for what it’s worth…

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 4,000 times in 2010. That’s about 10 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 13 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 113 posts. There were 2 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 5mb.

The busiest day of the year was January 30th with 116 views. The most popular post that day was Driving with Sunglasses.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, stephaniken.com, sz0095.ev.mail.comcast.net, mail.yahoo.com, and mail.live.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for cramerworld, cramerworld.com, jerry and karin cramer, butchart gardens, and photos of cruise ships captain dinner 2009.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

Driving with Sunglasses January 2010
4 comments

Reviewing the Trip September 2009
2 comments

Driving Through the Cemetery February 2010
4 comments

New Directions April 2010
4 comments

Back on the Main Hi-way

cramerworld — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 01:01:50 +0000

I think I’ll remove the word “routine” from any future postings. Last Monday was anything but routine. As I previously posted, my appointment had been postponed a week. This was done in order to be able to stop my blood thinner for 5 days prior to removing my port. On that Monday, someone from U of M called to say that they needed a risk assessment from my cardiologist. They also wanted Dr. J (my cardiologist) to approve the temporary stopping of the blood thinner and perhaps prescribe a “bridge” medication. Sounds do-able, right? Except that it was Thanksgiving week and it turned out to be impossible to get the 2 offices connected. So I called U of M and asked them to cancel the removal of my port.

Last Monday upon arrival at the U of M Cancer Center, I immediately checked on the port removal schedule and I was still on it. What I learned from this is that I should never allow a procedure to be scheduled around a holiday. So I have my port-friend for a while. Now I’ll stop writing about last Monday because it could easily turn into whining. Let’s just say that someone changed my appointment time to see Dr. C but forgot to tell us. (They need to get better magazines in that waiting room.)

Dr. C confirmed that the CT scan was clear. She said that since my tumor was such a bad one, she wants me to stay on the 4 month schedule for a while. Dr. C said that if a tumor returns soon after removal it usually returns to the same area. As more time elapses, the return would come in the form of mets to the lungs or brain. So, I won’t have to have as many CT scans but my blood work and X-rays will continue. All in all, it was a very encouraging appointment.

This experience reminds me that cancer doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Probably every cancer survivor has other health issues also. For example, since I am diabetic, I must watch my carbs. Because I have A fibrillation, I must take a blood thinner and limit my green vegetables. Watching and restricting my carbs/veggies resulted in my cholesterol exceeding 200 so now I have to be careful to keep a low-fat diet. If I were younger I think I would just go to a plant-based diet and become a vegan! (I think I did just cross over into whining. Sorry.)

We are wishing everyone a blessed Christmas season. I hope you’re done with your shopping, decorating, and cooking. Our house is mostly decorated. We have started the meal planning and baking. Hopefully we’ll start shopping for gifts soon. I always did work best under pressure.